My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
