i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
