So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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