Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
please don't ironically join a cult
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