he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
