How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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