You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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