Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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