I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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