I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
