Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize