I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
