A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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