how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
