xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is Oprah even human
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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