As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
