You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
