My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
