Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
