I heard we made out
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We talked him into tasing himself.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
