I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
