coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
