You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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