my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
