idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
