if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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