I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
