Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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