just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize