I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I am available for nakedness
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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