She is in my trunk
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
