awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
