So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
