I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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