the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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