"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
