Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
