also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
