Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
