Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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