the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
