yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
