3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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