sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
that is very illegal...i love you.
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