FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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