Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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