i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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