I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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