The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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