Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
