a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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