Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize