You're my little dorito
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
