i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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