im having a threesome with these popsicles
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
