He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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