i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
