id be glad to
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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