did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Let's get the cat blown out
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
